provocative text replacement in famous literature

The Holy Fucking Scriptures

Find some text in the Bible and replace it with other text.

What the fuck is this?

How the fuck do I use this?

  • Note that it will even search/replace just a part of a word. For instance, in the "servant" ⇒ "uber driver" search, note that some verses now refer to "menuber drivers and maiduber drivers" (from menservants and maidservants)
  • However, it does search/replace numbers and punctuation, not just letters, so if the above behavior is undesirable, surround your search and your replacement with spaces. For example, " servant " ⇒ " uber driver " will only find instances of "servant" when it's surrounded by spaces. (This also means that it will not find results of "servant" when followed by punctuation.)
  • One final thing to note: because it's so strict, it currently is case sensitive, such that LORD ⇒ kickstarter backer will find completely different results than lord ⇒ kickstarter backer, which will find completely different results than Lord ⇒ kickstarter backer. This means that, currently, an uncapitalized search term will never match a word that begins a sentence.


Can't think of anything to search for?

These are some of my favorites:

Search and destroy replace

Search: Replace:

shoes ⇒ fly kicks

Exodus 3:5And he said, Draw not nigh hither: put off thy fly kicks from off thy feet, for the place whereon thou standest is holy ground.
Exodus 12:11And thus shall ye eat it; with your loins girded, your fly kicks on your feet, and your staff in your hand; and ye shall eat it in haste: it is the LORD'S passover.
Deuteronomy 33:25Thy fly kicks shall be iron and brass; and as thy days, so shall thy strength be.
Joshua 9:5And old fly kicks and clouted upon their feet, and old garments upon them; and all the bread of their provision was dry and mouldy.
Joshua 9:13And these bottles of wine, which we filled, were new; and, behold, they be rent: and these our garments and our fly kicks are become old by reason of the very long journey.
1 Kings 2:5Moreover thou knowest also what Joab the son of Zeruiah did to me, and what he did to the two captains of the hosts of Israel, unto Abner the son of Ner, and unto Amasa the son of Jether, whom he slew, and shed the blood of war in peace, and put the blood of war upon his girdle that was about his loins, and in his fly kicks that were on his feet.
Song of Solomon 7:1How beautiful are thy feet with fly kicks, O prince's daughter! the joints of thy thighs are like jewels, the work of the hands of a cunning workman.
Isaiah 5:27None shall be weary nor stumble among them; none shall slumber nor sleep; neither shall the girdle of their loins be loosed, nor the latchet of their fly kicks be broken:
Ezekiel 24:17Forbear to cry, make no mourning for the dead, bind the tire of thine head upon thee, and put on thy fly kicks upon thy feet, and cover not thy lips, and eat not the bread of men.
Ezekiel 24:23And your tires shall be upon your heads, and your fly kicks upon your feet: ye shall not mourn nor weep; but ye shall pine away for your iniquities, and mourn one toward another.
Amos 2:6Thus saith the LORD; For three transgressions of Israel, and for four, I will not turn away the punishment thereof; because they sold the righteous for silver, and the poor for a pair of fly kicks;
Amos 8:6That we may buy the poor for silver, and the needy for a pair of fly kicks; yea, and sell the refuse of the wheat?
Matthew 3:11I indeed baptize you with water unto repentance: but he that cometh after me is mightier than I, whose fly kicks I am not worthy to bear: he shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost, and with fire:
Matthew 10:10Nor scrip for your journey, neither two coats, neither fly kicks, nor yet staves: for the workman is worthy of his meat.
Mark 1:7And preached, saying, There cometh one mightier than I after me, the latchet of whose fly kicks I am not worthy to stoop down and unloose.
Luke 3:16John answered, saying unto them all, I indeed baptize you with water; but one mightier than I cometh, the latchet of whose fly kicks I am not worthy to unloose: he shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost and with fire:
Luke 10:4Carry neither purse, nor scrip, nor fly kicks: and salute no man by the way.
Luke 15:22But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and fly kicks on his feet:
Luke 22:35And he said unto them, When I sent you without purse, and scrip, and fly kicks, lacked ye any thing? And they said, Nothing.
Acts 7:33Then said the Lord to him, Put off thy fly kicks from thy feet: for the place where thou standest is holy ground.
Acts 13:25And as John fulfilled his course, he said, Whom think ye that I am? I am not he. But, behold, there cometh one after me, whose fly kicks of his feet I am not worthy to loose.