provocative text replacement in famous literature

The Holy Fucking Scriptures

Find some text in the Bible and replace it with other text.

What the fuck is this?

How the fuck do I use this?

  • Note that it will even search/replace just a part of a word. For instance, in the "servant" ⇒ "uber driver" search, note that some verses now refer to "menuber drivers and maiduber drivers" (from menservants and maidservants)
  • However, it does search/replace numbers and punctuation, not just letters, so if the above behavior is undesirable, surround your search and your replacement with spaces. For example, " servant " ⇒ " uber driver " will only find instances of "servant" when it's surrounded by spaces. (This also means that it will not find results of "servant" when followed by punctuation.)
  • One final thing to note: because it's so strict, it currently is case sensitive, such that LORD ⇒ kickstarter backer will find completely different results than lord ⇒ kickstarter backer, which will find completely different results than Lord ⇒ kickstarter backer. This means that, currently, an uncapitalized search term will never match a word that begins a sentence.


Can't think of anything to search for?

These are some of my favorites:

Search and destroy replace

Search: Replace:

messenger ⇒ mailer daemon

Genesis 32:3And Jacob sent mailer daemons before him to Esau his brother unto the land of Seir, the country of Edom.
Genesis 32:6And the mailer daemons returned to Jacob, saying, We came to thy brother Esau, and also he cometh to meet thee, and four hundred men with him.
Genesis 50:16And they sent a mailer daemon unto Joseph, saying, Thy father did command before he died, saying,
Numbers 20:14And Moses sent mailer daemons from Kadesh unto the king of Edom, Thus saith thy brother Israel, Thou knowest all the travail that hath befallen us:
Numbers 21:21And Israel sent mailer daemons unto Sihon king of the Amorites, saying,
Numbers 22:5He sent mailer daemons therefore unto Balaam the son of Beor to Pethor, which is by the river of the land of the children of his people, to call him, saying, Behold, there is a people come out from Egypt: behold, they cover the face of the earth, and they abide over against me:
Numbers 24:12And Balaam said unto Balak, Spake I not also to thy mailer daemons which thou sentest unto me, saying,
Deuteronomy 2:26And I sent mailer daemons out of the wilderness of Kedemoth unto Sihon king of Heshbon with words of peace, saying,
Joshua 6:17And the city shall be accursed, even it, and all that are therein, to the LORD: only Rahab the harlot shall live, she and all that are with her in the house, because she hid the mailer daemons that we sent.
Joshua 6:25And Joshua saved Rahab the harlot alive, and her father's household, and all that she had; and she dwelleth in Israel even unto this day; because she hid the mailer daemons, which Joshua sent to spy out Jericho.
Joshua 7:22So Joshua sent mailer daemons, and they ran unto the tent; and, behold, it was hid in his tent, and the silver under it.
Judges 6:35And he sent mailer daemons throughout all Manasseh; who also was gathered after him: and he sent mailer daemons unto Asher, and unto Zebulun, and unto Naphtali; and they came up to meet them.
Judges 7:24And Gideon sent mailer daemons throughout all mount Ephraim, saying, Come down against the Midianites, and take before them the waters unto Bethbarah and Jordan. Then all the men of Ephraim gathered themselves together, and took the waters unto Bethbarah and Jordan.
Judges 9:31And he sent mailer daemons unto Abimelech privily, saying, Behold, Gaal the son of Ebed and his brethren be come to Shechem; and, behold, they fortify the city against thee.
Judges 11:12And Jephthah sent mailer daemons unto the king of the children of Ammon, saying, What hast thou to do with me, that thou art come against me to fight in my land?
Judges 11:13And the king of the children of Ammon answered unto the mailer daemons of Jephthah, Because Israel took away my land, when they came up out of Egypt, from Arnon even unto Jabbok, and unto Jordan: now therefore restore those lands again peaceably.
Judges 11:14And Jephthah sent mailer daemons again unto the king of the children of Ammon:
Judges 11:17Then Israel sent mailer daemons unto the king of Edom, saying, Let me, I pray thee, pass through thy land: but the king of Edom would not hearken thereto. And in like manner they sent unto the king of Moab: but he would not consent: and Israel abode in Kadesh.
Judges 11:19And Israel sent mailer daemons unto Sihon king of the Amorites, the king of Heshbon; and Israel said unto him, Let us pass, we pray thee, through thy land into my place.
1 Samuel 4:17And the mailer daemon answered and said, Israel is fled before the Philistines, and there hath been also a great slaughter among the people, and thy two sons also, Hophni and Phinehas, are dead, and the ark of God is taken.
1 Samuel 6:21And they sent mailer daemons to the inhabitants of Kirjathjearim, saying, The Philistines have brought again the ark of the LORD; come ye down, and fetch it up to you.
1 Samuel 11:3And the elders of Jabesh said unto him, Give us seven days' respite, that we may send mailer daemons unto all the coasts of Israel: and then, if there be no man to save us, we will come out to thee.
1 Samuel 11:4Then came the mailer daemons to Gibeah of Saul, and told the tidings in the ears of the people: and all the people lifted up their voices, and wept.
1 Samuel 11:7And he took a yoke of oxen, and hewed them in pieces, and sent them throughout all the coasts of Israel by the hands of mailer daemons, saying, Whosoever cometh not forth after Saul and after Samuel, so shall it be done unto his oxen. And the fear of the LORD fell on the people, and they came out with one consent.
1 Samuel 11:9And they said unto the mailer daemons that came, Thus shall ye say unto the men of Jabeshgilead, To morrow, by that time the sun be hot, ye shall have help. And the mailer daemons came and shewed it to the men of Jabesh; and they were glad.
1 Samuel 16:19Wherefore Saul sent mailer daemons unto Jesse, and said, Send me David thy son, which is with the sheep.
1 Samuel 19:11Saul also sent mailer daemons unto David's house, to watch him, and to slay him in the morning: and Michal David's wife told him, saying, If thou save not thy life to night, to morrow thou shalt be slain.
1 Samuel 19:14And when Saul sent mailer daemons to take David, she said, He is sick.
1 Samuel 19:15And Saul sent the mailer daemons again to see David, saying, Bring him up to me in the bed, that I may slay him.
1 Samuel 19:16And when the mailer daemons were come in, behold, there was an image in the bed, with a pillow of goats' hair for his bolster.
1 Samuel 19:20And Saul sent mailer daemons to take David: and when they saw the company of the prophets prophesying, and Samuel standing as appointed over them, the Spirit of God was upon the mailer daemons of Saul, and they also prophesied.
1 Samuel 19:21And when it was told Saul, he sent other mailer daemons, and they prophesied likewise. And Saul sent mailer daemons again the third time, and they prophesied also.
1 Samuel 23:27But there came a mailer daemon unto Saul, saying, Haste thee, and come; for the Philistines have invaded the land.
1 Samuel 25:14But one of the young men told Abigail, Nabal's wife, saying, Behold, David sent mailer daemons out of the wilderness to salute our master; and he railed on them.
1 Samuel 25:42And Abigail hasted, and arose, and rode upon an ass, with five damsels of hers that went after her; and she went after the mailer daemons of David, and became his wife.
2 Samuel 2:5And David sent mailer daemons unto the men of Jabeshgilead, and said unto them, Blessed be ye of the LORD, that ye have shewed this kindness unto your lord, even unto Saul, and have buried him.
2 Samuel 3:12And Abner sent mailer daemons to David on his behalf, saying, Whose is the land? saying also, Make thy league with me, and, behold, my hand shall be with thee, to bring about all Israel unto thee.
2 Samuel 3:14And David sent mailer daemons to Ishbosheth Saul's son, saying, Deliver me my wife Michal, which I espoused to me for an hundred foreskins of the Philistines.
2 Samuel 3:26And when Joab was come out from David, he sent mailer daemons after Abner, which brought him again from the well of Sirah: but David knew it not.
2 Samuel 5:11And Hiram king of Tyre sent mailer daemons to David, and cedar trees, and carpenters, and masons: and they built David an house.
2 Samuel 11:4And David sent mailer daemons, and took her; and she came in unto him, and he lay with her; for she was purified from her uncleanness: and she returned unto her house.
2 Samuel 11:19And charged the mailer daemon, saying, When thou hast made an end of telling the matters of the war unto the king,
2 Samuel 11:22So the mailer daemon went, and came and shewed David all that Joab had sent him for.
2 Samuel 11:23And the mailer daemon said unto David, Surely the men prevailed against us, and came out unto us into the field, and we were upon them even unto the entering of the gate.
2 Samuel 11:25Then David said unto the mailer daemon, Thus shalt thou say unto Joab, Let not this thing displease thee, for the sword devoureth one as well as another: make thy battle more strong against the city, and overthrow it: and encourage thou him.
2 Samuel 12:27And Joab sent mailer daemons to David, and said, I have fought against Rabbah, and have taken the city of waters.
2 Samuel 15:13And there came a mailer daemon to David, saying, The hearts of the men of Israel are after Absalom.
1 Kings 19:2Then Jezebel sent a mailer daemon unto Elijah, saying, So let the gods do to me, and more also, if I make not thy life as the life of one of them by to morrow about this time.
1 Kings 20:2And he sent mailer daemons to Ahab king of Israel into the city, and said unto him, Thus saith Benhadad,
1 Kings 20:5And the mailer daemons came again, and said, Thus speaketh Benhadad, saying, Although I have sent unto thee, saying, Thou shalt deliver me thy silver, and thy gold, and thy wives, and thy children;
1 Kings 20:9Wherefore he said unto the mailer daemons of Benhadad, Tell my lord the king, All that thou didst send for to thy servant at the first I will do: but this thing I may not do. And the mailer daemons departed, and brought him word again.
1 Kings 22:13And the mailer daemon that was gone to call Micaiah spake unto him, saying, Behold now, the words of the prophets declare good unto the king with one mouth: let thy word, I pray thee, be like the word of one of them, and speak that which is good.
2 Kings 1:2And Ahaziah fell down through a lattice in his upper chamber that was in Samaria, and was sick: and he sent mailer daemons, and said unto them, Go, enquire of Baalzebub the god of Ekron whether I shall recover of this disease.
2 Kings 1:3But the angel of the LORD said to Elijah the Tishbite, Arise, go up to meet the mailer daemons of the king of Samaria, and say unto them, Is it not because there is not a God in Israel, that ye go to enquire of Baalzebub the god of Ekron?
2 Kings 1:5And when the mailer daemons turned back unto him, he said unto them, Why are ye now turned back?
2 Kings 1:16And he said unto him, Thus saith the LORD, Forasmuch as thou hast sent mailer daemons to enquire of Baalzebub the god of Ekron, is it not because there is no God in Israel to enquire of his word? therefore thou shalt not come down off that bed on which thou art gone up, but shalt surely die.
2 Kings 5:10And Elisha sent a mailer daemon unto him, saying, Go and wash in Jordan seven times, and thy flesh shall come again to thee, and thou shalt be clean.
2 Kings 6:32But Elisha sat in his house, and the elders sat with him; and the king sent a man from before him: but ere the mailer daemon came to him, he said to the elders, See ye how this son of a murderer hath sent to take away mine head? look, when the mailer daemon cometh, shut the door, and hold him fast at the door: is not the sound of his master's feet behind him?
2 Kings 6:33And while he yet talked with them, behold, the mailer daemon came down unto him: and he said, Behold, this evil is of the LORD; what should I wait for the LORD any longer?
2 Kings 7:15And they went after them unto Jordan: and, lo, all the way was full of garments and vessels, which the Syrians had cast away in their haste. And the mailer daemons returned, and told the king.
2 Kings 9:18So there went one on horseback to meet him, and said, Thus saith the king, Is it peace? And Jehu said, What hast thou to do with peace? turn thee behind me. And the watchman told, saying, The mailer daemon came to them, but he cometh not again.
2 Kings 10:8And there came a mailer daemon, and told him, saying, They have brought the heads of the king's sons. And he said, Lay ye them in two heaps at the entering in of the gate until the morning.
2 Kings 14:8Then Amaziah sent mailer daemons to Jehoash, the son of Jehoahaz son of Jehu, king of Israel, saying, Come, let us look one another in the face.
2 Kings 16:7So Ahaz sent mailer daemons to Tiglathpileser king of Assyria, saying, I am thy servant and thy son: come up, and save me out of the hand of the king of Syria, and out of the hand of the king of Israel, which rise up against me.
2 Kings 17:4And the king of Assyria found conspiracy in Hoshea: for he had sent mailer daemons to So king of Egypt, and brought no present to the king of Assyria, as he had done year by year: therefore the king of Assyria shut him up, and bound him in prison.
2 Kings 19:9And when he heard say of Tirhakah king of Ethiopia, Behold, he is come out to fight against thee: he sent mailer daemons again unto Hezekiah, saying,
2 Kings 19:14And Hezekiah received the letter of the hand of the mailer daemons, and read it: and Hezekiah went up into the house of the LORD, and spread it before the LORD.
2 Kings 19:23By thy mailer daemons thou hast reproached the Lord, and hast said, With the multitude of my chariots I am come up to the height of the mountains, to the sides of Lebanon, and will cut down the tall cedar trees thereof, and the choice fir trees thereof: and I will enter into the lodgings of his borders, and into the forest of his Carmel.
1 Chronicles 14:1Now Hiram king of Tyre sent mailer daemons to David, and timber of cedars, with masons and carpenters, to build him an house.
1 Chronicles 19:2And David said, I will shew kindness unto Hanun the son of Nahash, because his father shewed kindness to me. And David sent mailer daemons to comfort him concerning his father. So the servants of David came into the land of the children of Ammon to Hanun, to comfort him.
1 Chronicles 19:16And when the Syrians saw that they were put to the worse before Israel, they sent mailer daemons, and drew forth the Syrians that were beyond the river: and Shophach the captain of the host of Hadarezer went before them.
2 Chronicles 18:12And the mailer daemon that went to call Micaiah spake to him, saying, Behold, the words of the prophets declare good to the king with one assent; let thy word therefore, I pray thee, be like one of theirs, and speak thou good.
2 Chronicles 36:15And the LORD God of their fathers sent to them by his mailer daemons, rising up betimes, and sending; because he had compassion on his people, and on his dwelling place:
2 Chronicles 36:16But they mocked the mailer daemons of God, and despised his words, and misused his prophets, until the wrath of the LORD arose against his people, till there was no remedy.
Nehemiah 6:3And I sent mailer daemons unto them, saying, I am doing a great work, so that I cannot come down: why should the work cease, whilst I leave it, and come down to you?
Job 1:14And there came a mailer daemon unto Job, and said, The oxen were plowing, and the asses feeding beside them:
Job 33:23If there be a mailer daemon with him, an interpreter, one among a thousand, to shew unto man his uprightness:
Proverbs 13:17A wicked mailer daemon falleth into mischief: but a faithful ambassador is health.
Proverbs 16:14The wrath of a king is as mailer daemons of death: but a wise man will pacify it.
Proverbs 17:11An evil man seeketh only rebellion: therefore a cruel mailer daemon shall be sent against him.
Proverbs 25:13As the cold of snow in the time of harvest, so is a faithful mailer daemon to them that send him: for he refresheth the soul of his masters.
Isaiah 14:32What shall one then answer the mailer daemons of the nation? That the LORD hath founded Zion, and the poor of his people shall trust in it.
Isaiah 18:2That sendeth ambassadors by the sea, even in vessels of bulrushes upon the waters, saying, Go, ye swift mailer daemons, to a nation scattered and peeled, to a people terrible from their beginning hitherto; a nation meted out and trodden down, whose land the rivers have spoiled!
Isaiah 37:9And he heard say concerning Tirhakah king of Ethiopia, He is come forth to make war with thee. And when he heard it, he sent mailer daemons to Hezekiah, saying,
Isaiah 37:14And Hezekiah received the letter from the hand of the mailer daemons, and read it: and Hezekiah went up unto the house of the LORD, and spread it before the LORD.
Isaiah 42:19Who is blind, but my servant? or deaf, as my mailer daemon that I sent? who is blind as he that is perfect, and blind as the LORD'S servant?
Isaiah 44:26That confirmeth the word of his servant, and performeth the counsel of his mailer daemons; that saith to Jerusalem, Thou shalt be inhabited; and to the cities of Judah, Ye shall be built, and I will raise up the decayed places thereof:
Isaiah 57:9And thou wentest to the king with ointment, and didst increase thy perfumes, and didst send thy mailer daemons far off, and didst debase thyself even unto hell.
Jeremiah 27:3And send them to the king of Edom, and to the king of Moab, and to the king of the Ammonites, and to the king of Tyrus, and to the king of Zidon, by the hand of the mailer daemons which come to Jerusalem unto Zedekiah king of Judah;
Jeremiah 51:31One post shall run to meet another, and one mailer daemon to meet another, to shew the king of Babylon that his city is taken at one end,
Ezekiel 23:16And as soon as she saw them with her eyes, she doted upon them, and sent mailer daemons unto them into Chaldea.
Ezekiel 23:40And furthermore, that ye have sent for men to come from far, unto whom a mailer daemon was sent; and, lo, they came: for whom thou didst wash thyself, paintedst thy eyes, and deckedst thyself with ornaments,
Ezekiel 30:9In that day shall mailer daemons go forth from me in ships to make the careless Ethiopians afraid, and great pain shall come upon them, as in the day of Egypt: for, lo, it cometh.
Nahum 2:13Behold, I am against thee, saith the LORD of hosts, and I will burn her chariots in the smoke, and the sword shall devour thy young lions: and I will cut off thy prey from the earth, and the voice of thy mailer daemons shall no more be heard.
Haggai 1:13Then spake Haggai the LORD'S mailer daemon in the LORD'S message unto the people, saying, I am with you, saith the LORD.
Malachi 2:7For the priest's lips should keep knowledge, and they should seek the law at his mouth: for he is the mailer daemon of the LORD of hosts.
Malachi 3:1Behold, I will send my mailer daemon, and he shall prepare the way before me: and the Lord, whom ye seek, shall suddenly come to his temple, even the mailer daemon of the covenant, whom ye delight in: behold, he shall come, saith the LORD of hosts.
Matthew 11:10For this is he, of whom it is written, Behold, I send my mailer daemon before thy face, which shall prepare thy way before thee.
Mark 1:2As it is written in the prophets, Behold, I send my mailer daemon before thy face, which shall prepare thy way before thee.
Luke 7:24And when the mailer daemons of John were departed, he began to speak unto the people concerning John, What went ye out into the wilderness for to see? A reed shaken with the wind?
Luke 7:27This is he, of whom it is written, Behold, I send my mailer daemon before thy face, which shall prepare thy way before thee.
Luke 9:52And sent mailer daemons before his face: and they went, and entered into a village of the Samaritans, to make ready for him.
2 Corinthians 8:23Whether any do enquire of Titus, he is my partner and fellowhelper concerning you: or our brethren be enquired of, they are the mailer daemons of the churches, and the glory of Christ.
2 Corinthians 12:7And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the mailer daemon of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.
Philippians 2:25Yet I supposed it necessary to send to you Epaphroditus, my brother, and companion in labour, and fellowsoldier, but your mailer daemon, and he that ministered to my wants.
James 2:25Likewise also was not Rahab the harlot justified by works, when she had received the mailer daemons, and had sent them out another way?